Thursday, June 23, 2005

Women's World

http://goldengirls03.org/WomensWorld.htm

Copied these jokes from this website.



WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

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BEHIND EVERY
SUCCESSFUL WOMAN
IS HERSELF

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

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MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

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I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A CAREER

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST
BETTER RICH

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WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

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I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN
And I HAVE A GUN

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CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

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WARNING:
I HAVE An ATTITUDE
AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT

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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"

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OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...

I DID IT RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME

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DO NOT START WITH ME.
YOU WILL NOT WIN

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ALL STRESSED OUT
AND NO ONE
TO CHOKE

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And last but not least:

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED,
SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

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And finally a few words from our role model, Maxine

1. I will defend,
to your death,
my right
to my opinion

2. Three things to avoid in building a positive body image:
fad diets, unrealistic goals and of course, three-way mirrors.

3. Celebrate Amelia Earhart Day. Get lost.

4. Thanks to the internet, you can get hopelessly in debt without ever leaving your house.

5. Older than dirt?
I knew dirt when it was still a rock!

6. Friends will always tell you exactly what she thinks! So I guess that makes me friends with everybody.