Friday, April 08, 2005

What Us Fatties Like

Who decides what us fatties like to wear? Yes, it's okay for me to utter the word "fattie." I don't mean this in a derogatory manner. I own my fatness, and I am fat.

I've got a question. Who decides what us fatties like to wear or can shop for? It's really amazing what some of these stores geared for "women," "plus-size," and "fuller figured" fat consumers carry in their stores. The word amazing is an understatement. Some of the clothes are made to the recurrent cookie-cutter pattern of tall apple-shaped women. Some are made for clubbers who barely wear anything and distastefully let things hang out in the wrong places when there are other assests to highlight. There are great patterns with terrible fabric that make you sweat and make stereotypes about fatties sweating like pigs a reality. Don't get me wrong. There are some great clothing lines out there. It's just far few and in between. You truly have to hunt all over for these. Once you find them, you pray that the company or line keeps these or stay along these lines. Also, some companies carry fuller-figured sizes only in catalogs or online. These pictures are sometimes not clear enough or give you a true sense of how the clothes fit and fall on your body. They pin the clothes on "full figured" models who are still thin and unlike our bodies. I want to see these clothes on models with real curves and figures. Gives me a better sense of how these clothes truly fit or might fit on me. And, have you seen what they offer in these catalogs for us fatties? Many are geared toward older women or women who are fashion-challenged. I cannot tell you how many times I've come across a great clothing piece only to be disappointed when I check the sizes available and see that they don't carry these in fuller figure sizes. Who thinks I want to dress like a grandmother, a stay-at-home and watch-tv suburban mother, or someone who doesn't care about how much she deserves and feels great in tasteful and fashionable clothes. And, not to mention, these that finally give me a fashion orgasm happen to fall into high-end lines and are beyond my means. I obviously have issues with fashion merchandising for fatties. That's a given. And, it's okay to laugh. I'm saying this with a good sense of humor as if I'm a stand-up comedian on stage venting about the serious crisis of fashion for full-figured women, aka fatties.

Laugh on, it's okay.


Seriously, I want some good clothes for us younger fatties and full-figured beauties. I am not spending a dime on something geared toward older fatties. Sometimes, I look through catalogs and let out an exclamation when I look at the size offering. I think, "Fuck you, you thinnies. Don't fatties like us like these stuff too?"

My roommate laughs and goes "Nyah nyah. We thinnies got it all."

"Damn all thees older lazy fatties who don't buy the good stuff and truly represent the market out there for us fashionable and younger fatties. "You have no idea how much you've got it all"

"Nyah, Nyah!"

"Well, at least I get better subway seats. Sometimes, I even get good plane seats. Nobody wants to sit next to a fattie. I can scoot and make as if I am taking over more space than I really am."

"Flaunt flaunt."

"I can make it look like a middle seat truly cannot be filled in by a skinnie. And, I end up sitting comfortably for the rest of the ride. Let them all skinnies and thinnies sit together."


"Phlt (smirking) At least you are a thinnie, not a skinnie or a twinkie."

"And you aint so bad yerself. ga"


"ga!? phlt!"

That's how conversations go between my roommate and I. Tis fun to be two women living together in Manhattan, a thinnie and a fattie in their late 20s with fashion issues. Life goes on.

*drum beating on*