Saturday, September 25, 2004

Toothpicks

Holding my eyes open with toothpicks. Nearly every morning this week, I've been brain-asleep with my eyes open. I eventually really wake up and get into the full swing of my busy schedule. It was my first week of internship at NYPH. I'm liking it so far. It's been off to a good start. And, I'm trying to keep up with my schoolwork, papers, and readings without losing too much sleep. I'm on my second wind now before going to bed. I hope to sleep in tomorrow morning finally then do some reading before heading back into the city for dinner and a comedy show.

Somewhere in the Middle of a Desert

If the terrorists are not happy with the world and want to glorify their idols, why don't they just strap bombs on themselves, go to the middle of a huge dessert, and blow themselves up?

Monday, September 20, 2004

33 Reasons to Smile

Another one from my republican extreme right-wing christian mother ..... 33 REASONS TO SMILE... must have been written by a human services provider or someone who works with people...

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.
4. Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
11. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.
12. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
14. God must love stupid people; he made so many.
15. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
16. It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
17. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
18. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
19. MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup crew.
20. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.
21. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
22. Procrastinate Now! (I do this well)
23. My dog can lick anyone!
24. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
25. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
26. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
27. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cashadvance BR
28.STUPIDITYISNOTAHANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
29. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
30. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
31. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory on your computer.
32. HAM AND EGGS -- A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
33. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Newspaper AD

Mom sent me this.... for a right-wing extreme christian, she's got a "clean" sense of humor. This is a g-rated version..... here it goes.... This has to be one of the best singles ads I've ever read. The following ad in The Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls: SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking female who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy. Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever. Men are so easy.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Big Bra Crooks

Big bra sparks hunt for heavy crooks
Thursday, September 16, 2004 Posted: 1643 GMT (0043 HKT)
BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- Police in the western German city of Aachen are searching for an obese couple who have been sneaking into an apartment building to use a woman's private dryer.
The only evidence police found was an oversized XXL bra and a jumbo pair of men's underpants left behind in the dryer.
The owner had been on alert for the intruders since receiving a 500-euro ($600) electricity bill, police said.
Then one night she heard the dryer on and went into the basement to investigate.
There was no one in sight, but she found the bra and shorts left in mid-cycle.
"The clothes are XXL so we are looking for a culprit of that size," a police spokesman said.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

AIDS Ride ILY's...

Ridor mentioned that ILY is the most over-used sign. I agreed with him. It's amazing how many hearing people misuse that sign. When I did the Boston - NYC Aids Ride (400 miles over 4 days) during my college years, I lost count of how many people rode besides, past, or behind me flashing ILYs if they knew I was deaf. And, at the campgrounds, whenever I talked with someone such as my ex-girlfriend or acquaintances who happened to be interpreters in other states, folks would come up with a smile and flash their ILYs. Well, I'm glad you love me. Just keep on riding, please, and get out of my face. Say it when you truly mean it, not out of excitement for "knowing a sign."

From a recent Martha Stewart Birthday Card

Here's a few helpful household hints to make the most of your birthday.

1. Don't toss out all those plucked gray hairs. You can weave them into a fun oven mitt or a cozy for the easy chair.

2. Save all the wax from your melted birthday candles. Reuse it to remove unwanted bikini-line hair.

3. Did you know that birthday balloons can add color to a flat room or inches to a flat bust line.

4. Bows from gifts can accessorize any outfit from the casual to the formal.

5. And remember, birthday cards are reusable as fun, colorful placemats for all your pets!

6. Martha says from her jail cell, "Being 28, it's a good thing." (Joe added)


Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Warning

Got this from my mother who got it from another friend... a joke....

This morning--from a cave somewhere in Pakistan--Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of convenience store managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next.

It's getting ugly.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Lesbian Planets

Even lesbians are from different planets.

The mainstream society adopted the cliche during the 1990s that men were from Mars while women were from Venus.

Genderizing planets is an absurd concept. It's more like different people types on different planets sometimes.

As some say, there are subgroups and types lesbians identify with within the lesbian population (e.g., butch/femme, lipstick, boi, etc). Even within these categories are women who hail from different planets when it comes to communication.

Ridor's Guilty

Even Ridor is guilty of overusing the word terror* He calls himself a deaf gay militant terrorist on his blog. Last night, my roommate teased me about the use of the word terror, terrorism, and terrorist. Even squashing a bug on the wall is an act of terrorism. Phlt. Terror is the most overused word of the decade.

Beautiful, My Ass

When I paid the cab driver recently, I tipped him. He turned around and smiled. He told me I was beautiful. Beautiful, my ass. Beautiful because I tipped him well.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Hot Fudge Sundaes

AJ loved Hot Fudge Sundaes. Whenever we went out to eat for lunch or dinner, she always ordered a hot fudge sundae for dessert. If the restaurant didn't offer it on their dessert menu, she humped and let the waiter know how disappointed she was that they did not have such a classic dessert. She did it with class though.

When AJ broke one of her hips during the late 1990s, I visited her in the hospital. I asked her what she'd like. She said, "A hot fudge sundae. They don't serve those damn things in here!" I smiled. Later, I drove out to the nearest Carvel and bought her the biggest hot fudge sundae they sold. I came back. She said, "What the heck are you doing back here? I thought you just left." I grinned cuz I loved the way she cursed and bluntly talked. I took out the sundae and set it in front of her. "That's why the heck I'm back." "Watch your language, Sarah." I simply grinned. She set in to eat the whole thing. She smacked her lip when she was done and said, "That was damn good! Thanks, Sarah."

From there on, I always brought her a hot fudge sundae whenever there was a medical setback, eye surgery, or just because I wanted to.

Two weeks ago, V and I stopped by for a surprise visit when AJ was in the rehab center. I couldn't remember where the Carvel was in that town, so I found a Friendly's and got a small hot fudge sundae. I didn't know how much she could eat, so I got a small one. When V and I swung by, it took her a while to recognize us (due to her blindness and limited vision). She recognized my voice when I started to talk. Her face brighted up, and she grinned before saying, "What the heck are you doing here! I'm so happy to see you!" She was just as happy to see V. (AJ was one of the few in the family who openly knew about V and always asked about her. AJ accepted V as my partner and loved her. That meant a lot to me.) We gave AJ her hot fudge sundae. She grinned and swore while eating it. I just sat there and laughed here and there. I loved the way she swore with class and got away with it.

On Sunday, Mom informed me that when she made calls to AJ's friends, former bank where she worked at, and the American Red Cross, people told her how they all brought her hot fudge sundaes whenever they visited her at the rehab center. I grinned and said, "Dammit. June and her hot fudge sundaes."

Auntie June

While cleaning out Auntie June's (AJ) condo and organizing everything to help for the time when my mother, the estate executor, will go through everything and decide what to do with the things.... I came across some interesting stuff... and there were a lot of historical artifacts... and family pictures... and good clothes from the 1930s-1970s... articles... pictures of my grandparents while they were courting and on their wedding day... etc...

For me, it helped to clean out and organize her stuff as a part of grieving.

Dad, V, and I also threw out an endless quantity of empty plastic bags, old empty boxes, etc from the guest bedroom. Dad focused on the master bedroom while V and I did the guest bedroom.

We even found few old hairpieces. V didn't inform me. She simply flung it into my face. I screamed, thinking it was a dead old rat. Then, I was like... shhh.... then yelled "Dad! There's a dead rat in there! Come here, please!" Dad met me in the hallway. Funny thing was he wasn't surprised to hear there might be a dead rat in the first place! I held back that thought and kept up with my joke with a scared voice. Dad came into the guest bedroom, and V did the same flinging action. Dad jumped back then laughed when he realized it was an old hairpiece accessory. It half looked like a wig, but it wasn't a full wig. And, AJ certainly did not have hair loss problems. My best guess is that it was a hairpiece to help with certain hairstyles back in the 50s or 60s. Later, while going thru the pics, I looked for hairstyles AJ wore to see if these hairpieces were being worn. I haven't found any yet. I am not going to spend hours scruntizing looking for evidence of these hairpieces in her pics. For all I know, it could have been one of her friends' pieces. No idea. *shivering and half retching*

Anyways, I learned a lot about AJ and how involved/active she was on the community leadership level. She was involved in the Civic Rights movement, women's rights, financial empowerment for women, and so on. She was also a very active volunteer with the American Red Cross for years. Here's an outline of some of her activities:

* American Red Cross active volunteer for 30 years. Retired in 2000. Served on the Board of Directors, was Chairman of Services to the Armed Forces & Veterans (1988-1999), volunteered as Staff Aide 2 days a week after retirement from banking. Typist at BloodMobiles, Chair of the Day for Bloodmobiles. On-Call volunteering, volunteered an average of 6 days a month in addition to other duties listed above.

* Milford Bank (1946-1985) As Assistant Secretary and Assistant Treasurer, Personnel Officer, Corporate Secretary.

* Past President, Business & Professional Women's Club of Milford Bank

* Past District Director, Connecticut Federation of Business and Professional Women's Club

* Past Committee Chairman, Bridgeport Chapter of the American Institute of Banking

* Member, National Association of Bank Women

* Past President, Association of Savings Bank Women of Connecticut

* Member, and Committee Chair, Network of Executive Women

* Past Committee and Board member, United Way of Milford



Sunday, September 12, 2004

Overused Word of the Decade

Overused word of the decade: terror* (terrorism, terrorize, terrorist, etc). True, there have been terrible acts of terror. But, people and the media are overusing this word to apply to everything that invokes feelings/responses these days. You don't have to be from the Middle East, in the military, a friend of Ted Kaczynsky (whatever the spelling is)... or be involved in politics to be a terrorist. Let's try to use acronymns and more appropriate terms to describe events and actions of lesser severity and purpose.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Ode to Wyndie

Ode to Wyndie. Funeral took place last weekend. Thank you for your outpouring support and comfort during this trying time in the age of technology.

Here is the obituary that was sent out last week:
_______________________________________
My wyndtell pager had a heart attack few days ago and passed away unexpectedly due to an unknown "fatal error." It was formerly known as X@wyndtell.com. I am grieving, and as time passes, I will be ready for a new Blackberry pager.

In the meantime, please send your condolences and future correspondence/emails to X@aol.com.

Thank you.

Hugs,
X

Here are excerpts from people's words of support and responses:

Our condolences for your loss of a great technological companion. Hope you will cherish it in your memory which it was a first introduction to our communication world. And may you enjoy the next gadget.

Be seeing you on Sept 18th for chow and chat at Patsy's and on our big day, as well.
Take care with hugs,
C & K

Oh my goodness! I'm condolesing to your Wyndtell pager ((sniffle)). The flowers will be sent to u soon. LoL.
- IV

is LOL...my deep condolences go to you! Hugs xo How are you? I think it is funny what you have said. I do miss you smile.

- L

I see you ll get a blackberry soon. It is great. I just got it myself a few weeks ago.
-S
sorry abt your wyndtell....my son says, blackberry is IT!

- I
You have my deepest sympathies and my prayers are with you and your pager :)Meanwhile on the subject, welcome to the wireless world of high tech when you get your Blackberry :)Hugs

-A

I feel like I'm at an Irish funeral, a sad occasion but with a grin on my face.
well said, S
smile MOM

Please accept my sympathies. I know how painful it can be losing a beloved friend who was loyal and faithful 24 hours a day. It s reassuring that there s someone who is not demanding of your time and attention aside from mandatory electric shocks.I do suggest a burial not cremation due to EPA regulations.Respectufully yours

- T
May your wyndtell rest in peace. Hopefully, my buddy Spongebob helped you in your time of grief. tee hee tee hee!I thought of you and V this weekend and hope the service went well. Give her a hug from me. See you soon,
- MK

(Sent an e-card - need a little laughter in your life? get things going the SpongeBob way! Take the feather and press anywhere on SpongeBob's body to make him laugh.)
To know of your pager's unfortunate demise. My thoughts and heartfelt wishes are with you in this time of need. Looking forward to getting your new blackberry addy but also respecting the amount of time you may need in getting it. Smile....wink...hugs!

--e

This is hilarious!
-Esther

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Interesting Response

While standing in the 3 miles-long Unemployment Line holding up a pink slip alongside 8000 people on 9/1/04, a guy walked past holding up his credit card with the pictures and names of President Bush and Dick Cheney on it. That was his response to the people in the line... holding up his credit card pic of the prez and veep while walking. That gives me an idea... maybe we should get credit cards with pictures of our deaf history, leaders, etc and just hold them up as we pass hearing people every day?

In Loving Memory of...

In Loving Memory of Tom Guzek (August 30, 2004)...

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false freinds;
to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden path, or a redemmed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

SKSKSK

SKSKSK *?{~)#%!&^#*-^& to Wyndtell!

My pager has been dead for few days due to complications of a "fatal error" electronic heart attack and replying incoming messages with a "fatal error" return response.

So, SKSKSK to dinosaur Wyndtell.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Licking Frogs

One of V's best friends, Magda, viewed the Ofoto album we sent her with pictures from our visit to the Museum of Natural History's Frogs exhibit. Magda replied with the following: "did you know that there are certain frogs that if you lick they have stronger chemical effects that LSD?
I haven't tried, but its interesting to consider!! I would like to know who was the first person to think of licking a frog in the first place?!"

Clinton's Heart

Former President Clinton was in town this week during the convention.

Today, breaking news stated that he was scheduled to have quadruple bypass surgery after going to the hospital reporting chest pain.

Perhaps he couldn't find someone to give him a pat down or engage in certain actions. Or, he was too heartbroken and in deep grief with this week's Republican convention and the state of this country.

On a serious note, I really hope that Clinton pulls through safely and has a speedy recovery. My thoughts are with him and his family. The facility Clinton is going to is excellent and reputable. He'll be in good hands.

'The Comfort of Its Mother's Mouth'

Couldn't help but laugh while watching "Totally Wild" on National Geography Channel. The show did a documentary about the dangers in the early lives of baby alligators. The way they presented the dangers were at times hilarious to watch yet at other times sad.

*zooming in on a tiny baby gator paddling in the water from below* *ominious music* *zooms out to reveal a snapping turtle below staring at the gator*

Narrator: "Fortunately, the snapping turtle had already ate and was not hungry. The baby gator was lucky to escape with its life. It is fortunate for now."

Narrator: "The baby gators can cry, and the mother is always nearby to come and defend it from dangers that lurk above - the birds."

*zooms out to show water birds with long legs at the shore staring into the water*

*baby gator cries* *mother alligator comes up immediately* *baby gator is riding mother's back in the water with their tails wagging like cats and slows down to lie serenely in water*

Narrator: "Above the water are dangers like birds. Below the water lurks dangers such as snapping turtles"

*pauses* *zooms down into darker water to reveal an ugly fish with a deep jowl staring up at a tiny gator lying in the water next to a lily pod leaf*

"Below are snapping turtles... and fish"

*fish jolts up to quickly eat gator*

Narrator: "The tiny baby gator fought valiantly for its life right until the end."

*small head of gator is shown sticking out of fish's mouth as it struggles then becomes silent*

Narrator: "This time, the baby had no time to cry for its mother. Its mother was unable to come and defend it from danger. This gator will never know the comfort and safety of its fericious yet gentle jaws of its mother's mouth again."

Cheney Spoof

K and I were at it again... trying to not develop a mental illness or eating disorder while watching Cheney's speech...

Cheney: "We have the best healthcare in the world. K, my roomie, yelled. Me: "Maybe HE had the best health care since he can afford to have access after robbing healthcare and wages from ordinary Americans." K: "Yea, obviously, after 5 heart attacks...."

Bush's Speech

My roomie and I were in a cynical mood while watching parts of Bush's speech. I glanced up from my laptop occasionally to see what he was saying as well as to see Kate's comments. Here are excerpts.

Kate: The background during Bush's speech said "land of opportunity" S: "Land of opportunity for rich people" Kate: "and white folks..."

Also, during the other night, I looked up from the laptop to see a huge choir of men in tuxedoes/suits and women in black glittery/sequin dresses singing... about the mightiness and bravado, etc of all the branches of the military... with lots of visual pics....they took their time to sing about each branch and showed different pics before moving on to the next branch.... K and I discussed about how they dared do this and be singing about our "wonderful military and patriotism" while they're killing nearly a thousand soliders..... and being are honored by a big choir of people in formal wear...what hypocrites...the very same people who sent our soldiers out there to be killed are singing about them. They'll stop singing when the soldiers return to meet poverty and federal programs full of red tapes. If you're going to be singing about our soldiers and the families they left behind in the US to protect US soil, please also make sure you take care of them before, during, and after they serve our country.

Belsan Hostages

Few days ago, hundreds of people, including children, were taken hostage at a school in Belsan, Russia by Chechnyan, Russian, & Ingushetian militants. Many were killed, injured, or eventually rescued. Today was the 3rd day of the hostage standoff. It's hard for me to understand why people would do something like that. The militants even refused water, food, or medical help for the hostages - many who were injured or really hot due to the hot weather while being stuck inside the school.

The pictures I saw of the hostages, especially the children, who were rescued just ripped my heart. Imagine how they felt about being held hostages, being deprived of basic essentials, the shock and experience of being released from such hell/horror, and life afterwards. I wonder what kind of resources and support these children and their families/friends have there, especially since mental health and social services are relatively new concepts over there.

If this very same situation happened in Israel or even America, would Bush or America have reacted differently or even uttered the word, "terrorism?" Did Bush not say much due to diplomatic ties or knowing that Russia had resources to handle situations of this nature? What would Bush have declared? How would the media have exploited or portrayed this event? How would have the rest of the world reacted? I also question vice versa - about how Americans are reacting to the Belsan event in terms of their attitude, empathy, and sympathy.