Sunday, November 21, 2004

A Craigslist Dictionary...

An obnoxious control-freak Italian male decided to take things into his hands and developed what I call an unofficial CraigsList dictionary. I just wonder what "outgoing" and "muscles" mean in his dictionary. I found it hilarious.

SICILIAN MALE 6'2 235,MUSCLES SEEKS OUTGOING FEMALE(READ ON) - m4w

IM A NON SMOKING,ITALIAN MALE,6'2 235 WELL GROOMED.YOU SHOULD BE FIT,WELL GROOMED,BETWEEN THE AGES OF 22-35 & KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE.PLEAS READ THE FOLLOWING.IF YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING,NO NEED TO REPLY.LET'S GET THIS STARTED ASAP.

Classy = Severe case of self-entitlement.

Spiritual = Buddhist or Yoga freak

Christian = Protester

Strong woman = Severe case of self-entitlement and a shitty attitude.

Seeking gentleman = Looking for rich guy who is beyond sexual years.

World traveler = would love to go to Europe as long as you're paying.

Shapely = Fat

Intelligent = She reads People Magazine every week.

Educated = She reads National Enquirer her reliaible sources.

Rubenesque = Fat

Sassy = Thinks she's funny, but is really a miserable bore to hang out with.

Sick of bar scene = She doesn't get hit on at bars due to one or more physical flaws.

Friends first = Reformed slut.

Tired of games = I want a docile schmuck to pay my bills and not pester me for sex.

BBW = Big Big Whale

Curvy = Fat

Full-Figured = Fat

Well-built = Fat

Blond = she dyed her hair blond

Average Build = Fat

Must like kids = I want a putz who will break his ass paying for another man's cast off progeny.

Loves the Outdoors = Closet Lesbo.

Snuggling and Warm Fires = Frigid.

Enjoys Travel - You're paying, right?

Fun Loving = Fucked 10,000 guys.

Meaningful Relationship = Slavery.

Non-Smoker = she is boring no vices.

Open Minded = she likes your gf or wife,

Adore pets = Loner

Nurturing = Stalker.

Eccentric = Psycho.

Ready to settle down = Tired of working for a living.

Financially Secure - Support my fat, lazy ass.

Very Good Looking (vgl) - Facially Challenged

St8 but curious - gay

420 - she's an addict and can't afford her habit